Thoughts from man’s heart

Thought 1
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?

Thought 2
The average man’s life consists of:
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going, Forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wondering too.

Thought 3
A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, “If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.” The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. “Who are you?” “I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered. “Oh, yeah?” the man asked “And where the hell were you when I got married?”

This is the Best !!!
Thought 4
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced “Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life.” Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, “My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me.”
The whole audience including the priest erupted in laughter ………. all except the poor Groom!!

4 THOUGHTS for the day: MEN- Must Read

Thank you, Sunshine for sharing it.

On hidden meanings

Is there a ‘spin doctor’ in the house ??

Acquired taste – A food writer described this as “something people only ever say about foods that are horrible”.

Ahead of its time – A book-publishing euphemism for “It bombed”.

Courtesy call – An unsolicited phone call from a telemarketer.

Fixer upper – A real estate term for a property that might more accurately be described as a “tearer-downer.”

Friendly reminder – Urgent warning.

Learning opportunity – A mistake.

Robust exchange of views – A shouting match.

Zero tasking – An impressive-sounding business term to use instead of admitting that you’re doing absolutely nothing.
Heard Any Good Ones: Part 2 | Page 239 | BrownCafe – UPSers talking about UPS

Thank you, Sunshine for sharing this.

Each day is a lifetime in miniature

To awaken each morning is to be born again,
To fall asleep at night is to die to the day.

In between waking and sleeping are the golden hours of the day.

What we think we cannot do for a lifetime,we can do for a day.

Anyone can strive to be happy for a day
and to spread happiness around.

Anyone can rise above fear for a day
and meet each situation with courage.

Anyone can hold his temper for a day
and guard the words he speaks.

Anyone can remain honest for a day
and carry his burden heroically.

Anyone can count his blessings for a day
deciding not to look at half-empty but at half-filled glass.

Anyone can eschew hate and cruelty for a day
deciding to live and let live.

Live a day at a time and remember
that tomorrow is another today!

– From ‘Be Your Own Doctor Using Reiki’ by Dr. Dhiren Gala

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The Five Buddhist Principles

  1. Just for today I will not worry.
  2. Just for today I will not get angry.
  3. Just for today I will be honest.
  4. Just for today I will count my blessings.
  5. Just for today I will give love and show respect to every living being.

Just for Today | The Path of Forgiveness
Thank you, Sunshine for sharing it.