Here’s a video of a guy putting a camera on a sushi conveyer belt. It’s wonderful. Every table has a little story! pic.twitter.com/6mwKsTHJ0e
— drew coffman 𝕚𝕤 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕖 🟢 (@drewcoffman) May 17, 2019
Asides
77 Life Rules for Photographers
- Always carry a camera
- It ain’t the camera, it’s the 12 inches behind it (Ansel Adams was right)
- Glass before bodies
- Learning before gear
- Nikon, Canon, Leica, Sony – Nobody who matters cares
- Don’t shoot for free
- Unless it’s your grandmother – jeesh, don’t be so cheap
- Don’t touch the model (seriously, don’t be that guy)
- Sleep in? Lol
- Shooting sunsets is a cliche
- If you don’t like sunset photos, you’re probably already dead
- Nobody cares that you only shoot prime
- Buying gear won’t make you a better photographer
- Except for an 85mm f1.4 – that is a sweet sweet lens
- On a full frame, 20mm for landscapes, 35mm for street, 85mm for portrait, >120 for action.
- Tips like that are a guideline, not a rule, so don’t lose your bananas about it
- Photography competition judges are rarely your potential clients
- Clients have very different tastes to photo competition judges
- Clients have very different tastes to professional photographers
- Get it right in camera
- Nobody gets it right in camera for everything
- When somebody tells you they always get it right in camera, look at their portfolio to see examples of photos that need post-production work
- Post-production is part of the photographic process – you either leave it to factory settings on your camera, or you control it yourself
- Go easy on Photoshop
- Competition? Photojournalist? Don’t remove objects from your photos
- Smoothing skin and making people skinny in Photoshop is a horrible reflection on society
- Literally, no client will ever complain if you skillfully smooth their skin or make them skinnier
- Converging verticals is a photography sin
- Converging verticals look cool as hell
- Regularly help other people learn
- Getting angry at cheaper/free photographers is a waste of time
- Figure out how to charge more, not less
- Regular event photographers need to be fit – you should be too
- When somebody asks for the unedited photos, the answer is no
- If they insist, and you really cannot get out of it, then the price is 10x
- University can teach you how to be an excellent photographer, but there are other ways too
- University probably won’t teach you how to be a good business person
- The second shooter gets paid regardless of whether you do
- When somebody invites you to an event, then casually mentions that you should bring your camera, tell them you are busy that night
- Learn how to shoot in manual
- Know that many pros shoot in aperture priority
- If you post it online, it WILL get stolen
- Photo thieves were probably never going to be a paying client anyway – but chase the ones who might have been
- It’s ok that your camera gear costs more than your car
- Some photographers are all about the technical, some are all about the artistic. There is room for everyone
- Every. Great. Photographer. In. History. Did. Post. Production.
- Look after your camera, but just remember, it’s a tool, not a priceless ancient artefact – it’s gonna get wear and tear
- Nobody knows where lens cloths disappear – carry lots
- Try film photography – you will probably love it
- Stop telling people you only shoot film – nobody cares
- If you ever find yourself using the phrase “real photographers” then give yourself an uppercut
- Everybody struggles to find their own style – it’s part of the journey
- Find your own style
- Own a Russian film camera once – you will love it
- If spending $500 upsets you, don’t enter a camera store
- If spending $5000 upsets you, consider moving to where there is no camera store
- Learn to take criticism gracefully
- Give criticism only when it’s asked for
- 2 Minute noodles can be skillfully prepared when you need to save for the holy trinity of lenses
- Read more
- Practice even more
- People don’t care why you couldn’t get the shot – they simply move on
- Want to shoot a photo you saw? Add your own twist – copying is boring
- Get closer
- Get closer
- Get closer
- If you know who made those previous three rules, you’re probably not a beginner anymore
- You will be somewhat unhappy with your shots from 3 years ago
- Photographing models to meet women is kind of creepy – again, don’t be that guy
- If you are standing on public property, you are almost certainly allowed to photograph anything you like – people, buildings, whatever
- Don’t be a douchebag about that
- Ask before photographing kids
- Preferably ask before photographing adults
- Smile
- Use your feet to zoom in
- There are no rules for photography, but there are laws for physics
- The only person who has to be satisfied with your photography is ultimately you
Enjoy Yourself
You work and work for years and years, you’re always on the go.
You never take a minute off, too busy makin’ dough.
Someday you say, you’ll have your fun, when you’re a millionaire.
Imagine all the fun you’ll have in your old rockin’ chair.
Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think.
Enjoy yourself, while you’re still in the pink.
The years go by, as quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think.
You’re gonna take that ocean trip, no matter come what may.
You’ve got your reservations made, but you just can’t get away.
Next year for sure, you’ll see the world, you’ll really get around,
But how far can you travel when you’re six feet underground?
Your heart of hearts, your dream of dreams, your ravishing brunette,
She’s left you and she’s now become somebody else’s pet.
Lay down that gun, don’t try my friend to reach the great beyond.
You’ll have more fun by reaching for a redhead or a blond.
Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think.
Enjoy yourself, while you’re still in the pink.
The years go by, as quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think.
You never go to night clubs and you just don’t care to dance.
You don’t have time for silly things like moonlight and romance.
You only think of dollar bills tied neatly in a stack,
But when you kiss a dollar bill, it doesn’t kiss you back.
Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think.
Enjoy yourself, while you’re still in the pink.
The years go by, as quickly as a wink.
Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think.
—– Additional verses found in other versions —–
Another birthday’s here and gone, you’ve turned another page,
And suddenly you realize that you’ve reached middle age.
Just think of all the fun you’ve missed; it makes you kind of sad
It’s better to have had your wish than to have wished you had.
You worry when the weather’s cold, you worry when it’s hot,
You worry when you’re doing well, you worry when you’re not,
It’s worry, worry, all the time, you don’t know how to laugh.
They’ll think of something funny when they write your epitaph.
You love somebody very much, you want to set the date,
But money doesn’t grow on trees so you decide to wait.
You’re so afraid that you might bite off more than you can chew
Don’t be afraid; you won’t have teeth when you reach 92!